Sep. 24, 2015

What’s Communicated Through Sex & What’s Not

In one of the the last posts we spoke of sex as a communication tool. Yes, a way to convey and receive information. Sex is a communication of a variety of high level information, not just the physical and gratifying type. As we learn in tantric studies, the subtle energy fields and makeup of the body are the back-story to everything appearing or manifesting in our experience.  There are no magic wands and genies, just our energy’s vibration. Just as science has shown that most human communication is nonverbal; so too is the nonverbal communication of the subtle energy at play when engaging in sex. Please remember that sexual activity is THE most sought after activity of the majority (after eating food, of course). For something so sought after, it would seem criminal to impose the repressed notions, sanctions and misinformation that have ruined the sexual experience, lifestyle and empowerment of so many people throughout the ages. This is so pervasive that there are few if any practical notion of sex education for our most vulnerable populations. There must be a reason beyond personality, culture and gender biases. Perhaps there is something else happening that if it became common knowledge amongst the masses, it would jeopardize the status quo.
The sex act is the most intimate and close two or more people can physically connect. Yes, you can feel the connection when you meet someone possessing the same energy or energy matching your vibration, but when the choice is made to bind on that level there is a communication occurring. Much of this communication is unseen and unheard. It is the transfer of energy taking place. Most of the media portrays sex as either a committed act amongst the engaging parties or a violation of a code. In some form it is manipulated to fit into either of those categories. This promotes and supports the unawareness prevalent to the issues and traumas self created into daily life.
What is communicated during sex, amongst the sweat, motions and pleasures is also an exchange of energy information through the subtle energy of the body, moving through all seven layers of the energy body (etheric, emotional, mental, high mental, spiritual, casual and ketheric). This exchange of communication is entirely dependent upon the intent of those engaged. Intent is everything when it comes to the type of communication occurring. During sex, this communicating can open and unblock energy channels, support and promote healing, connect people on a deeper more meaningful level, foster manifestation of deep desires and open up channels to information needed for evolvement and use of personal power. If the intent of those engaged is in conflict, sex can block or close energy channels, promote and bring about illness and disease, separate or cause disharmony, block the manifestation of desires and facilitate deviation, repression, oppression and pathological behavior.
So, does this mean that every time sex is performed there must be some ritual or chakra balancing taking place? No, of course not. Spontaneous mutual affection is as close to perfection as possible on this plane. However, it must be known that engaging in sex for purposes of purely gratifying a lustful desire (overpowering urge and not subject to reason or established code) or for the purposes of power positioning (to achieve aims or “get your way”) or capitalistic venture (driven by profit only) will serve as a negative intent to sexual engagement and definitely block the positive results possible through this unique communication. There is no other activity that can reap so many positive benefits as gratifying, desired and positively intent based sexual engagement, science has already proven this fact (check out the Masters and Johnson research archives).  
OK, what isn’t communicated through sex? First and foremost, fidelity. Fidelity is actually defined as the strict observance of promises, responsibilities or duties. Of course, our dictionaries and all manner of common definition extend this to the marriage bed as being “true” to one’s partner. That is not the actual definition, unless of course you promised that you would never have sex with anyone else. For many that is a part of marriage vows, and if this is not the case or desire anymore, despite the practical reasons a true look at fidelity versus sex/sexuality may need to be discussed. So what about all those unmarried? I suspect few contracts of that sort have actually been verbally or officially approved. Even so, engaging in the sex act is not automatically registered and magically makes someone dutiful to only engaging in sexual activity with just you. Exclusivity is not a right, and if desired should and must be stated and agreed upon, continuously for best results. Sex does not communicate status, dependence, prowess or capability. It does not communicate long term or future feelings beyond the moment and never communicates trust. All these things are notions that are best left to actual verbal communication and either established or agrees upon on a regular if not continual basis to ensure the minimal of expectations. I know, people lie. People may change their minds, not enjoy themselves, not want to meet my terms, etc., etc. – sorry, that is the point of our evolvement.
In closing, let us all remember that no matter what or why, we are not abnormal. We are normal people, many of whom struggle with certain issues within alternatives means of dealing with them on a sexual basis. Some may be experiencing issues surrounding:
  • Fulfillment - not enjoying sex or engaging in unfulfilling activity
  • Sex pain - painful for you either physically or emotionally
  • Inadequacy - feeling incompetent or helpless as a lover/partner
  • Addictive behavior- abusing pornography or acting out inappropriately
  • Abuse or Trauma  - wounds from being mistreated or exploited sexually
  • Self negation or confusion  - distressing attractions, burdensome inner questions about your sexuality or choices
All of these things can be helped, cleared or eventually eliminated. 

Thanks for reading.

As always,

Live.​ Well​. Now.