Nov. 6, 2015
People are said to be "playing politics" when they manipulate and use others for their own needs and ends. The behaviour that seeks power over others for selfish reasons is always based on fear. Most of us grew up saturated by family politics and learned that certain people address situations through frightening behaviors. To avoid punishment, mistreatment or even to keep the peace we found ways to live in progressively complex situations, often by our own maneuvering around obstacles or manipulating people to get what we want. The survival instinct kicks in and sees to it that we continually keep ourselves within the relationship dynamics. But for many of us, this can result in internalized political dramas, including sexual politics with a loved one.
But politics can have a nobler meaning as well: the behaviors that make us find healthy values of acceptance and forgiveness within ourselves, and lead us to live those values in daily thoughts and acts. We may practice loving-kindness, regardless of circumstances, starting with our most beloved, ourselves. So even our love-making becomes a noble political act that breaks the pattern of manipulation and exploitation. Humility, openness, and goodwill are healthy traits we can practice to help us shift from the win-lose of personal politics to the win-win of a healthy relationship.
At every moment, a personal politic is happening within you. It can be underhanded and scheming, stereotyping and minimizing, it can seek to divide and conquer. Or we can practice a different politic... one that keeps us present with empathy for life, and unites ourselves with others through unconditional love. We at TAC believe everyone has the right to experience healthy sex and love free from trauma, abuse, violence, crime, lies, secrets, judgment, shame, guilt and regrets.
This is OUR shared philosophy and politics.
Thanks for reading.
Live. Well. Now.