Feb. 11, 2016
What's your level?
Tolerance means accepting differences.
It can also signal our ability to accept intimacy, which means we have learned to tolerate discomfort, stress, being angry, and grief as well as positive feelings. Those of us who grew up in dysfunctional homes learned to tolerate dysfunctionality and most likely never learned to tolerate emotional honesty, security or well-being. Let's think back to the story of Semele, the mortal lover of Zeus, who was tricked into asking Zeus to reveal his true nature in all its glory (his god-ness) and was burned to a crisp! We must all learn, gradually and in small doses, to tolerate the potent forces of spirituality and sexuality.
There are some experiences that we DO NOT want to build a tolerance for because we can easily become desensitized to things like violence, and not just physical abuse but also emotional, intellectual, psychological and spiritual abuse. Like alcoholics and junkies, sex and love addicts build up a tolerance for their behavior so that they need greater hits and increasing entertainment to feel any arousal. We often hear of people who can't stop viewing porn or performing sex acts (alone or with another). Similarly, love addicts might no longer be satisfied with compulsive texting/sexting or cyber-stalking and will take ever greater risks that they themselves know to be irrational. THIS can become the two edged sword, you build up a tolerance for unhealthy behavior, but remain unable to tolerate the stress underlying the behavior like the stress of loneliness, disappointment, or rejection.
At TAC, we can at least show you how to tolerate our own process, and navigate the fact that sometimes we find ourselves in very difficult situations. You can learn to tolerate any situation without submitting to it (BIG difference). It might be counter-intuitive, but the only way to create healthy tolerance IN the world... is to have healthy tolerance f the world.
We can learn to tolerate love, to tolerate peace but how long can you tolerate sitting in a peaceful moment? What about in traffic? How often do you take time get to a peaceful place everyday? For some people it can be difficult to tolerate another person's touch or even eye contact. Can you tolerate a good rhythm or mood during sex without wanting to make it better (and sometimes ruining it!)? Can you just be in the now and enjoy it? Just a few things to think about until next time...
Thanks for reading.
Live. Well. Now.