Jul. 2, 2016
"Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers." Voltaire is said to have left that little gem behind as one of many quotes and as with any activity, questioning someone about any subject (sex/relationships in most of our cases here at TAC) requires moderation to be healthy.
Without moderation, questioning can turn self-devouring, where the question itself becomes a means of avoidance and dissociation. Questions can be manipulative, as if asking enough questions might almost resemble caring. Questions can be used to distract from the REAL issues, from really being seen and experiencing real intimacy.
There are also those questions that are really statements, serving only to confirm fears, doubts, justifications and assumptions.
Such leading questions can create their own reality instead of getting to the truth.
How you respond to questioning can also reveal various defenses and deep-rooted patterns that we all can have a tendency to carry around sometimes. This might mirror your schooling or upbringing: were questions asked and answered in a healthy way? Or did you practice counterfeit ways of asking and answering? If you learned the art of inauthentic communication very young, and practiced it in those teen years and have honed it in your now adult life , should you be surprised that it would seep into every relationship you have/had or try to seek?
The reason we ask and answer any question is to invite truth to come into consciousness, which might be a truth that is beyond our grasp at the moment. It can be seen as a way of surrendering oneself to the fact that we're human and don't have all the answers , but we may be able to get some of them (because some questions will never be answered and you need to be able to make peace within with that) if we are open to receive them.
True responses to true questions are more than intellectual information; they bring a shift in consciousness and can go a LONG way in helping to co-create happy, healthy relating.
Thanks for reading.
Live. Well. Now.