Sep. 2, 2016

Emotional Truth


Being emotionally honest can be tough because, first and foremost, it calls for us to be true to ourselves and, secondly, it can upset those on the receiving end.

Speaking our truth is actually a two-part process that asks us to find our strength for making an honest statement and for tolerating the other's, sometimes unfavorable, response. But being emotionally honest frees us from emotional distress and bodily stress, making it an act of caring for ourselves and giving us a sense of liberation and pride. Claiming these feelings is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves, yet most of us are programmed to keep our feelings and opinions to ourselves. I remember growing up hearing "if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all" so doing the exact opposite can feel scary. We've been warned not to "hurt other people's feelings" or were taught to circle around the truth and even to manipulate others to get our needs met.

 

One of the perceived downfalls of emotional honesty is the risk that we'll have to soothe ourselves if another gets wounded, hurt, angry, or feels rejected. Confrontation can, understandably, cause anxiety but not dealing with an issue has its dangers which are inherent in human relations and can be messy. Truth-telling comes with a price that sometimes we, and those around us, don't like.

There's no easy street in life.  Consider that telling people you're angry at them or that you love them are both confrontations requiring you to dig up your courage and brace for their response; understanding, anger, adoration, shame, or a list of other emotions that you can't control.

 

Intentionally taking your own shape (not the shape you shifted in and out of as a child to accommodate adults) is the desire. Not everyone will like that shape, but at least, they'll respect you.

More important, you'll respect yourself.

 

Thanks for reading.

As always,

Live. Well. Now.