Dec. 6, 2016

Support


Raising our children on a strong foundation of ethics is one of the greatest gift we as adults can give our family. Preparing children for a life of ups and downs gives them a sense of security even in a world of uncertainty. To feel supported means children have an internalized trusted adult residing in their hearts and souls. Whether a parent, grandparent, or teacher, one such person makes all the difference in a child's life. For without an effective support to make it from one phase of childhood to another, we humans wobble and hobble along, unsure of who we are and where we should be going. Support is a basic human need, along with adequate lap time, in order to mature properly.

 

Moving from adolescence to adulthood, we may pick supportive or problematic people, depending on what was modeled to us as kids. If we had strong adults to rely on, we learned to stand on our own two feet by heeding our feelings, needs, wants. This kind of foundation lets us choose a partner more wisely and allows us to communicate appropriately with our partner as well as others. But without support from others we don't flourish in relationships or sexual engagement, in fact, many support-deprived people tend to lean towards isolation, one of the cornerstones of addictions (of all types).

If children learn that the adults around them are unreliable, they quickly look elsewhere for help, often choosing peers who, like them, use forms of self-soothing such as drugs, food, alcohol or sex. Isolation and addiction are dead-end streets that leave us longing for connection, acceptance, appreciation and love. The way out of addiction is inevitably through the support of a community of concern which models and teaches...finally, how to trust others.

We can never escape our fundamental need for support. This need connects humanity and the road that leads to intimacy.  

 

Thanks for reading.

As always,

Live. Well. Now.