Promiscuous

The word promiscuous comes from a Latin root meaning mixed up. Unlike polyamorous, loving many...promiscuous implies indiscriminate, reckless hooking-up that is more akin to a compulsion than to a committed lifestyle choice. Having sex with multiple partners in itself may not be harmful, but when the motivation for this behavior comes from a desire to numb out or escape reality rather than from joy and love, promiscuity becomes a debilitating drug. We can be preoccupied with the constant pursuit of new partners, sometimes to the exclusion of self-care, socializing, and work. We may even risk disease, violence, or unwanted pregnancy.

Of course, when discussing promiscuity, it's important to examine the context in which the word is being used...unfortunately, our culture throws around much shaming and name-calling when it comes to sexual habits. No one has the right to dictate to us with whom, with how many, or how often we engage in sex. What matters most is our own feelings about our behavior. Do we feel drained, exhausted and depleted by our hypersexual activity? Does it cause us to neglect other areas of our lives? Are we avoiding being present? Or do you feel uplifted, fulfilled and energized?

Here it may be wise to slow down our impulses through sober perception to measure them, caress them. Instead of blindly following desires, we can use them to get to know ourselves and others better by acknowledging attractions without feeling the constant need to act on them. We can hold our impulses with love, see what they are made of, where they come from, what they are trying to tell us, and where they may lead. In this way, we can feel that our sexual connections are conscious and with a purpose, rather than random, chaotic, and just plain mixed up. 

Thanks for reading.

As always,

Live. Well. Now.