Mar. 15, 2017

What Is your IN-TENT?


What do you INTEND for your sex life? Your sexual reality? Are you just seeking the proverbial ‘good time’? A thrilling one night stand or choice, pleasure business transaction? Perhaps a loving, gratifying experience with your ‘perfect woman’ or fantasy girl? Yeah, perhaps just to get off, or if you’re in such a place, to get on, move on or get lost. In the end, we get what we intend (no pun, really). Why is intent important? What do you want covering your insides? Your feelings? To shelter your emotional frailty, feebleness or as protection for your emotional being?We are taught in various ways to regulate or control our feelings, to not as men, ‘be like a woman’ and be led astray or get caught up in our feelings. Interesting.


As the research folk seek to learn more about the new buzz of ‘emotional intelligence’, those aware find that once again the mark is missed, particularly when it comes to sexuality and sexual engagement. Intent, Intimacy, Ingratiate…get the picture? How about Mars taking a moment to understand the choice of words and what the words mean that are used to describe or depict our usual sexual behavior. The obvious is that it’s believed to be usually made up of likely intentions or intent of ill repute.


So what does intent have to do with anything? Isn’t all our intent the same? What makes a good intent? We just want some satisfaction - some pleasure - some happiness in whatever way we most feel. Yeah, bad choices that will land you in jail or immediately dead, I guess that may be one truth. Unfortunately, sex has become such a commodity that Mars below a certain stature could find themselves holding their rod, staff and good intentions in their hand, or hands. Perhaps instead of following the programming, we could listen to Venus just a bit more. No, not for direction, but to learn how to set or voice our intentions with what matches us better, not just attempts to flow with no direction or intention.


Increasingly Men are being held more accountable for not respecting the feelings of women in a broader societal sense. Although that can be a good thing, a great thing would be for Venus to speak her truth and have a willing and able Mars stand nearby in case her verbosity is not well received (apologies, but I really don’t believe in Venus having to fend off Mars unless in dire situations, why should ‘she’ fall beneath?) One thing to remember is you will find out sooner about the match of intentions if you don’t attempt to waylay, avoid or control that communication. Choices should match intention, particularly sexual choices, that create or break down our sexual wellness. Why not let your intent be known, and start requiring the same of others, Venus or Mars, that seek to communicate, or as we say, commpulate with you? Can you trust yourself enough to do so? Can you allow enough trust for your partner to do so?


Answer honestly, whatever’s there isn’t going away because you lie to yourself. Let your answer move you to review your intention sexually and see if it matches your partner’s/partners’ intentions. Matching intentions is not a hard thing, it seems so because many of us have been living marginalized lives, especially sexually. To go further, since we may not have ‘any’ intentions but to get through the day, night, weekend, relationship…so be it, we will do just that – then go whine, cry and complain to the few that either don't care, don’t know or can’t show their own intentions. Those living their intentions won’t tolerate it, so usually they don’t get the stories, or they get very few(usually people new to them).


Set your intent for your sexual satisfaction. You deserve it, no matter what it is, no excuses. If you want to engage, say so - if not, say so. If you need ‘more’, say it - less, say that too. If you’ve been hiding what you ‘really’ enjoy because of judgment, criticism = Fear; do yourself a favor, make a plan and say it.  Make A Plan, then Say It. No, it’s not easy, comfy, cozy, all’s well’ - but what really is when there is no intent or intent unrealized? Your emotions suffer, and Mars, that leads to your heart attacks,  strokes, and other anal diseases (look it up).


To end, let’s give great Thanks to the ever living Reverend Frederick J. Eikerenkoetter II, better known as Rev. Ike, for his famous cliché which we’ll adjust for our purposes;

Good Health, Great Sex, Happiness, Love, Success, Prosperity, Money!


Living with good intention brings fulfillment, supporting happiness, allowing prosperity, and if it hadn’t happened before then, some great sexual wellness.

 As always,

Live. Well. Now!